The Awakening: The First Stage of Sacred Dating
There’s a moment that happens after you’ve done a lot of healing… and it doesn’t get talked about enough. It’s not the heartbreak.
It’s not even the immediate aftermath. It’s what comes after you’ve taken time for yourself.
After you’ve journaled, reflected, grown, and slowly started to feel like yourself again. And then you find yourself thinking,
“I know I’ve changed. I know I don’t want what I had before… but what do I actually want now?” This is the space so many women over 40 find themselves in when they begin to consider dating again.
And this is exactly where Sacred Dating begins. I teach an 8-stage Sacred Dating Journey, and the very first stage is The Awakening. This stage isn’t about rushing into dating. It’s not about profiles or strategies or “putting yourself out there.” It’s about something much deeper. It’s about getting clear on who you are now… and what you truly desire to experience in your next chapter of love.
Because here’s the truth: You are not the same woman who entered your last relationship. You’ve lived. You’ve loved. You’ve lost. You’ve learned. And yet, if you don’t consciously reconnect with who you are now, it’s very easy to unconsciously recreate what you’ve already outgrown. Not because you’re broken, but because your chooser hasn’t been recalibrated.
The Awakening is where you begin to shift out of that old pattern of waiting to be chosen. Where you gently start to see how you may have shown up in love before—not with judgment, but with compassion.
Where you begin to recognize the ways you may have:
overgiven
overlooked
or disconnected from your own intuition
Not because you didn’t know better. But because that was the version of you that was trying to be loved. And this is where something powerful begins to happen. You start to realize: I’m not that woman anymore.
But here’s the piece most women skip. They’ve done the healing work, but they haven’t actually defined what they want to experience in love now. Not just in a partner—but in the relationship itself. And this is the heart of The Awakening.
It’s asking yourself: How do I want to feel in my next relationship? What does emotional safety look like for me now? What kind of love feels grounding instead of activating? What am I no longer available for, not from hurt, but from wisdom?
This is where you begin to embody something I teach deeply: In order to have love… you have to be love. In your standards. In your choices.
In how you show up for yourself. This is where Relationship Intelligence starts to come online.
Where you’re no longer just hoping for a different outcome. You’re becoming the woman who will create a different experience because you’re choosing from a different place.
The Awakening is subtle, but it changes everything. It’s the moment you stop asking, “Will this work?” or “Will he choose me?” And you begin asking, “Is this aligned with who I am now?”
And from here, everything shifts. Because Sacred Dating isn’t just about finding love. It’s about becoming the woman who knows how to choose it.
If you’re in this space right now—where you’ve done the work, but you’re not fully clear on what’s next, you’re not behind. You’re in The Awakening. And this is exactly where your next chapter of love begins.